Sherry Turkle and the article “Is Google making us stupid

I need someone to revise my essay i wrote. We are turning in revisions in my English class but i do not know what to change/ make stronger about my Essay. My teacher gave me 100/150 points and his comments about my essay was this ” The second part of your essay when you talk about Carr is very good, but the first part is not. I don’t understand what your disagreeing with Turkle about. Also what exactly is your main point? Sure you agree/disagree with the author but why? The topic sentence needs something to connect to.” I am going to attach my essay along with a picture of the rubric where my teacher has marked areas to be fixed. You will first have to read the article “No need to call” by Sherry Turkle and the article “Is Google making us stupid?” by Nicholas Carr to know what my essay is talking about. I basically need someone to make my essay100x better than it is and fix the mistakes my teacher is talking about.

 

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